[Lnc-business] updated draft of convention minutes

[Alicia Mattson]

It has been a very busy week, so I find myself doing something that I
dislike when others do it.  :-)  I'm sending an updated document draft
while many of us are in transit to the meeting.

Attached is the version 2 draft of the convention minutes which can be
approved this weekend following the completion of the at-large audit.

You don't have much time to review it, so I'm itemizing what is different
from the first version I sent about a month ago.

I only received feedback from two people (Hagan and Harlos), and based on
that feedback, draft 2 has been updated as follows:

   - p. 53 now reflects that the ambiguous vote for T-Rex may have been
   intended to be a vote for Mr. Hagan.
   - an Oxford comma was added on p. 3
   - Ms. Harlos had expressed her preference that commas at the end of
   quoted phrases should go inside of quotation marks.  This is one of those
   grammar rules that is evolving over time, and many consider it acceptable
   to place it either inside or outside.  In many of the instances she
   flagged, the quoted material is something like the title of a platform
   plank rather than something a verbatim record of what someone said.  In
   such cases, it just looks bizarre to me for the comma to be inside the
   quotes, as it is not part of the title of the platform plank.  In such
   cases my preference is to place the comma outside of the quotes for
   readability and so that the quotes don't contain things that aren't
   actually a part of the source material being quoted.  The inside-the-quotes
   approach makes more sense for something like:  "It's hot in Phoenix, but
   it's a dry heat," said Jane.
   - Since there were delegate motions immediately made at the start of the
   Platform Committee report, the subject matter introduction in the minutes
   wasn't documented in the same way as with the Bylaws and Rules Committee
   report.  I've now added an identification of Ms. Harlos' role as the chair
   of the Platform Committee to the text.
   - On p. 18, "Mr." has been inserted before "Sarwark" in one location.
   - I added a requested accent mark on a delegate's name.
   - The missing period on p. 31 has been added.
   - On p. 32, delegate state identifiers have been added.

There was a wee bit of time pressure to get my audited at-large results
out.  After I sent them, I realized that one other correction didn't make
my list of things that I caught after-the-fact.  We were voting to do a
second audit, and I thought that might occur sooner rather than later, so
my note-to-self reminder was with the ballots themselves so I'd see it for
the second audit...which meant that I didn't see it for the first draft
minutes.  Grrr!  But I saw it when getting the materials together for
today.

This draft version 2 additionally notes that the 150 votes cast by Florida
were actually all contained on 23 ballots, rather than the 24 on the tally
sheet and on my prior numbers.  This has very minimal impact.  With one
fewer ballot in the denominator, it very slightly increases the percentages
for each candidate.

-Alicia
-------------- next part --------------
   It has been a very busy week, so I find myself doing something that I
   dislike when others do it.  :-)  I'm sending an updated document draft
   while many of us are in transit to the meeting.
   Attached is the version 2 draft of the convention minutes which can be
   approved this weekend following the completion of the at-large audit.
   You don't have much time to review it, so I'm itemizing what is
   different from the first version I sent about a month ago.
   I only received feedback from two people (Hagan and Harlos), and based
   on that feedback, draft 2 has been updated as follows:
     * p. 53 now reflects that the ambiguous vote for T-Rex may have been
       intended to be a vote for Mr. Hagan.
     * an Oxford comma was added on p. 3
     * Ms. Harlos had expressed her preference that commas at the end of
       quoted phrases should go inside of quotation marks.  This is one of
       those grammar rules that is evolving over time, and many consider
       it acceptable to place it either inside or outside.  In many of the
       instances she flagged, the quoted material is something like the
       title of a platform plank rather than something a verbatim record
       of what someone said.  In such cases, it just looks bizarre to me
       for the comma to be inside the quotes, as it is not part of the
       title of the platform plank.  In such cases my preference is to
       place the comma outside of the quotes for readability and so that
       the quotes don't contain things that aren't actually a part of the
       source material being quoted.  The inside-the-quotes approach makes
       more sense for something like:  "It's hot in Phoenix, but it's a
       dry heat," said Jane.
     * Since there were delegate motions immediately made at the start of
       the Platform Committee report, the subject matter introduction in
       the minutes wasn't documented in the same way as with the Bylaws
       and Rules Committee report.  I've now added an identification of
       Ms. Harlos' role as the chair of the Platform Committee to the
       text.
     * On p. 18, "Mr." has been inserted before "Sarwark" in one location.
     * I added a requested accent mark on a delegate's name.
     * The missing period on p. 31 has been added.
     * On p. 32, delegate state identifiers have been added.

   There was a wee bit of time pressure to get my audited at-large results
   out.  After I sent them, I realized that one other correction didn't
   make my list of things that I caught after-the-fact.  We were voting to
   do a second audit, and I thought that might occur sooner rather than
   later, so my note-to-self reminder was with the ballots themselves so
   I'd see it for the second audit...which meant that I didn't see it for
   the first draft minutes.  Grrr!  But I saw it when getting the
   materials together for today.
   This draft version 2 additionally notes that the 150 votes cast by
   Florida were actually all contained on 23 ballots, rather than the 24
   on the tally sheet and on my prior numbers.  This has very minimal
   impact.  With one fewer ballot in the denominator, it very slightly
   increases the percentages for each candidate.
   -Alicia
-------------- next part --------------
A non-text attachment was scrubbed...
Name: 2018 Convention Minutes - v2.pdf
Type: application/pdf
Size: 1548235 bytes
Desc: not available
URL: <http://hq.lp.org/pipermail/lnc-business/attachments/20180928/c5f53746/attachment-0001.pdf>