[Lnc-business] Resolution Condemning Conversion Therapies

[Caryn Ann Harlos]

I’m fine with the grammar - I think we’ve parsed out sentences enough
unless there is an additional vote to be gained with the change

On Tue, Apr 16, 2019 at 6:51 AM John Phillips via Lnc-business <
lnc-business at hq.lp.org> wrote:

> Starchild's proposed ammendment did not go to the entire list.  So here it
> is, followed by my disagreement and reasoning.
>
> Jeff and all,
>
> The second "whereas" clause is grammatically incorrect (a run-on
> sentence), and also reads a bit clunky – how would you feel about this
> language instead?
>
>
> *WHEREAS entrusting parents or guardians with custodial rights to act on
> behalf of their dependent children in certain matters as they mature does
> not negate other rights retained by children during this period of
> dependency, such as their rights to bodily integrity and to determine their
> own identities, or render non-abusive any coerced actions that would
> fundamentally deny these rights;*
>
> The fifth "whereas" clause also contains a typo ("it's" should be "its"),
> and I would also recommend changing "issues" to "areas" and "pursuit" to
> "context" in that clause.
>
> Hope you find these suggestions helpful.
>
> Love & Liberty,
>
> ((( starchild )))
>
> I find that phrasing, while elegant, to not be as strong and clear in its
> phrasing. "Does not negate other rights ..." Is too open ended despite the
> "such as" that follows.  There are things we see as absolute rights for
> adults that are negated or lessened during childhood in regards to
> parenting.
>
> The last section " or render non-abusive..." is not as strong or clear in
> intent or function as a simple declaritive that the coerced actions
> described in the previous version are abusive.
>
> Simply adding a comma after inalienable in the previous version  the
> run-on/flow issue while maintaining the strength abd clarity.
>
> Obviously no objection to correcting the typo of "it's". I also find his
> other suggested word changes in the 5th whereas an improvement.
>
>
>
> John Phillips
> Libertarian National Committee Region 6 Representative
> Cell 217-412-5973
>
-- 

*  In Liberty,*

*Libertarian Party and Libertarian National Committee Secretary *- Caryn.Ann.
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