[Lnc-business] Disagreement.

[Caryn Ann Harlos]

Thank you Mr. Phillips.  Any rudeness to Ms Sexton was unintentional, and
I’ll be speaking with her privately.

I’ll not stand for the abusive tirades of EVH which are not in isolation
but in the context of her private abusive email to me and her multi-year
belligerence.  I’m presently at my doctors office due to the anxiety caused
by her attacks.

I am well aware that I can be harshly blunt.  Here is the productive way to
deal with autistic people who have that trait.

First you don’t accuse and belittle. You say something like- hey, I know
you would never want to hurt X but the way you said that was (insert
descriptive).  It seemed you were trying to communicate X and I
respectfully think if you approached the issue that way it would help.

Rather than badgering character attacks.  I was approached in a completely
demeaning bullying way, and I have to be my biggest advocate when it comes
to dealing with my disability.

The way EVH treats people without any self-awareness is dangerous.

I realize I can be unintentionally insulting.  I own it and it grieves me
because I never want to hurt someone. I’d take hurt to myself before ever
wounding someone like that.

The way to address is not by aggressive high-handed holier than thou
badgering like I was subjected to.  And then the completely demeaning
comments to seek guidance elsewhere.  What entitled nerve!

I will not stand to be treated like that.  I own my faults.  They are
many.  And I’m sick and tired of EVH acting like she’s as pure as the
driven snow in abject lack of self-awareness of how thoroughly dislikable
she comes across.

Every day I want to be better.  But I will not be belittled nor will I be
told that I’m lying about my disability.  When I told my doctor about what
was going on here and what was said she was shocked.

None of you would tolerate bullying people with a visible disability.  Stop
tolerating it for invisible ones.

I’m not asking to be coddled.  I thank you for your frank assessment Mr.
Phillips which was done with respect to my human dignity.



On Mon, Oct 28, 2019 at 10:44 AM John Phillips via Lnc-business <
lnc-business at hq.lp.org> wrote:

> As Ms Adams and I suggested, I will start another thread since it seems to
> be an issue for others to do so for some reason.
>
> So let me address some things.
>
> 1. Many of us can derail threads, including myself.  Gentle reminder to
> keep that too a minimum - again to myself as well.
>
> 2.  Yes. Mrs Harlos response was rude.  I do not have a problem with that
> being pointed out. It should be.
>
> 3.  HOWEVER, much of the response was pushing it as well, as well as some
> of it definitely being a pot and kettle situation.
>
> Particularly because of the habit some of you seem to make of it.  Some
> seem to almost take pleasure in it and wait for their opportunity to
> pounce, and it is the point that it is readily apparent too many of us that
> much of it is based in personal animosity.  I would potentially think about
> calling it abusive the lengths to which it has gone.
>
>  That constant back and forth is wearying, and the need to constantly
> snipe at each other is beyond old.
>
> Please just stop.  If you must constantly be - Oh so many words I would
> like to put here, but I will settle on mean spirited - to each other, just
> email each other directly and leave the rest of us out of it.
>
> John Phillips
> Libertarian National Committee Region 6 Representative
> Cell 217-412-5973
>
-- 

*In Liberty,*

* Personal Note:  I have what is commonly known as Asperger's Syndrome
(part of the autism spectrum).  This can affect inter-personal
communication skills in both personal and electronic arenas.  If anyone
found anything offensive or overly off-putting (or some other social faux
pas), please contact me privately and let me know. *