[Lnc-business] Disagreement.

[Caryn Ann Harlos]

You will not bully me into silence.

You were abusive and the only “threat” was informing you that you will
never speak that way to me again accusing me of lying about my difficulties.

And that is not a threat.  It’s a fact.  Your personal family experience is
your own and I’d never presume to speak on it.  But you are not an expert
and your presumptions to analyze me and contradict my clinician were beyond
the pale.  It was despicable.  The email was read to several advisors
immediately thereafter and the assessment was uniform.

It’s unfortunate you are so blind to your own belligerence.  I’m painfully
aware of my shortcomings and constantly seek to correct myself.

We disagree.  Fine.  I’m more than happy to avoid you if you’d return the
favour.  But until that happy time, I will stand up for myself.

On Mon, Oct 28, 2019 at 11:43 AM Elizabeth Van Horn <
elizabeth.vanhorn at lp.org> wrote:

> Please stop with the lies about a private abusive email.
>
> It was quite the opposite, as you sent me threats, accusations, and
> insults.
>
> Stop with the false accusations.
>
> If you with no further interaction, then stop with the false
> accusations.
>
> ---
> Elizabeth Van Horn
> LNC Region 3 Representative (IN, MI, OH, KY)
>
>
>
> On 2019-10-28 13:18, Caryn Ann Harlos via Lnc-business wrote:
> > Thank you Mr. Phillips.  Any rudeness to Ms Sexton was unintentional,
> > and
> > I’ll be speaking with her privately.
> >
> > I’ll not stand for the abusive tirades of EVH which are not in
> > isolation
> > but in the context of her private abusive email to me and her
> > multi-year
> > belligerence.  I’m presently at my doctors office due to the anxiety
> > caused
> > by her attacks.
> >
> > I am well aware that I can be harshly blunt.  Here is the productive
> > way to
> > deal with autistic people who have that trait.
> >
> > First you don’t accuse and belittle. You say something like- hey, I
> > know
> > you would never want to hurt X but the way you said that was (insert
> > descriptive).  It seemed you were trying to communicate X and I
> > respectfully think if you approached the issue that way it would help.
> >
> > Rather than badgering character attacks.  I was approached in a
> > completely
> > demeaning bullying way, and I have to be my biggest advocate when it
> > comes
> > to dealing with my disability.
> >
> > The way EVH treats people without any self-awareness is dangerous.
> >
> > I realize I can be unintentionally insulting.  I own it and it grieves
> > me
> > because I never want to hurt someone. I’d take hurt to myself before
> > ever
> > wounding someone like that.
> >
> > The way to address is not by aggressive high-handed holier than thou
> > badgering like I was subjected to.  And then the completely demeaning
> > comments to seek guidance elsewhere.  What entitled nerve!
> >
> > I will not stand to be treated like that.  I own my faults.  They are
> > many.  And I’m sick and tired of EVH acting like she’s as pure as the
> > driven snow in abject lack of self-awareness of how thoroughly
> > dislikable
> > she comes across.
> >
> > Every day I want to be better.  But I will not be belittled nor will I
> > be
> > told that I’m lying about my disability.  When I told my doctor about
> > what
> > was going on here and what was said she was shocked.
> >
> > None of you would tolerate bullying people with a visible disability.
> > Stop
> > tolerating it for invisible ones.
> >
> > I’m not asking to be coddled.  I thank you for your frank assessment
> > Mr.
> > Phillips which was done with respect to my human dignity.
> >
>
> --

*In Liberty,*

* Personal Note:  I have what is commonly known as Asperger's Syndrome
(part of the autism spectrum).  This can affect inter-personal
communication skills in both personal and electronic arenas.  If anyone
found anything offensive or overly off-putting (or some other social faux
pas), please contact me privately and let me know. *